||[Nov. 13th, 2004|07:14 pm]
The issue is that of the difference between beauty as a man and beauty as a woman.
I have always found men who try to act and look like women rather pathetic as they never can equal the fineness of a woman's feature. Harsh but true.
On the other hand, I hate the arrogance of beautiful men. I could look macho (macho is the coquetry of men). But in the same way I don't have a lot of respect for girly girls, I don't have a lot of respect for macho boys.
So, what way to follow between effeminate behavior and prettiness, vs. machismo and cockiness?
I am neither one or the other, effeminate or cocky, but that makes me a bit too neutral. Not affirmed enough.
Whatever makes me feel good I guess? One thing I would never do is any change in my body anyway, as I think it is perfect like that.
So, if I want long hair, let's have long hair, if I want flowers, let's have flowers, if I want to look serious let's be serious and if I want to smile and be charming let's be charming. And if I like dresses... well I still wouldn't wear any in public. That is when I have to push against the limits. Which would be very amusing indeed.
I am thinking of those dresses you wear over jeans. I think I could manage that quite OK. After all, that is not so different from what people in India wear. I could begin with very plain material.
No, really, at the basis, what pisses me off is that girls can wear all those beautiful things and we guys are left with the crudest ugliest junk. Which is why I now buy some of my stuff in the girl's section. Because anyway they don't have my size in the boys section in the UK. And what they have is repellent, really. The sizes 14 to 16 (UK) are what fits me best. Which is about size L in the US I think. Only problem is that my proportions are those of a man. No fat anywhere! (A little bit of fat in the right places is delicious, BTW).
Geez, I am so jealous of girls! ... Not really. It is OK frankly. Most of the time. I am not one to ignore reality checks.