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Some of my recent activities [Oct. 16th, 2004|10:59 pm]
I found the most delicious coat in the women’s section of a low-priced store, after going to several very upscale places looking for a pretty man’s raincoat. Isn’t it incredible? Cheap woman’s coat >> ultra expensive men’s coat…

This reminded me of the saying that the ideal of a woman for the fashion industry is the man: no hips, no breasts, and no periods because they starve themselves.

So anyway, I have now the cutest coat, mid-length, shitty fabric but nice to the touch and looking good (not looking straight enough, but this is OK), very light and hot at the same time. I look the cutest in it.

Spent the afternoon with Dylan, first at the forum, then going to the cathedral and then up a hill overlooking the city. He is a bit bizarre, a catholic preacher actually, but apparently fascinated by homosexuality, crime, rapes of children, women behaving badly (he actually recounted me the story of a woman giving a blowjob in the streets near the train station). He also showed me the gay bar. He did his MA on the persecution of Jews beginning in the City with the murder of a little boy, in the 12th century, of which the Jews were accused.

Still happy about my raincoat. It was such a surprise. Not sure at first, but then realized this was exactly what I had been looking for: very classical, but since it is for women, there is the touch of transgression that makes me love wearing it.

Back from the party: nice, no big ambience, shitty music, but discussed with a poetry writer, an artist who also leads art workshops for young and elderly people, a scriptwriter and actor, etc. So overall, no time lost, relatively interesting discussion.

The thing in small cities is that the distinctions cannot be as fine as in big cities; people of different occupations have to mingle with each other. Of course, the level is not as high, but you do have cross-fertilization.

PS: Have to write about hat girl I noticed going around at Uni dressed strangely in the most “haggard” way. I thought she was doing some kind of art performance, looking lost. I sure noticed her but everybody was trying to ignore her, except for the magazine seller. I could not define her age. She acted retarded; she was limping, one of her feet turned slightly inside, her rock badly adjusted and her spine mal-adjusted, so that her butt was clearly prominent. She was going quickly though.

I loved her; I was fascinated. She was the person I am trying to represent with d. I followed her discreetly, trying to fathom whether she is working here. I will definitely try to engage the conversation with her. She looked fascinating. I want to know what a person who dresses so strangely, inadequately, thinks, and whether this is a protest. Or maybe she comes from a poor family and does not have any taste, but then I want to know how she thinks. Also, dressing like a little child, or a teenager: there is the will to remain young. Maybe she is a writer?


I took notes during the movie “Breakfast at Tiffany'', with Audrey Hepburn, another model for d.: Reminds me of Sophie. At ease with men, like a pet. Dreamy, very fast, cute baby voice. Vivacious. Superb legs, cleanly shaved. Always amazed at the things that go on. Likes to be petted. Smoking is made so sexy… Confidence in others. Relation with gigolo: gigolo in the same situation as women traditionally. Always busy with many men to keep them competing?

“She honesty believes in all the phony she is spouting.” Naïve. “Very lovely and very frightened” beginning of story)

Also, this encourages me in taking up more acting, and singing. I have to develop those functions, it will make me a more complete being, less denying of myself and my true nature, so repressed. I am a person of drama, of show. I like showing myself.

Oh, did I mention I write 15 times each day both “I will publish an article” and “I will become a great actor”. Tip gotten from Dilbert!!! And yeah, it does help a bit. Pb with second statement: am I not already a great actor ==> define this more precisely maybe. I do read everyday a new piece of theatre in a book of audition speeches. I also try to sing along with Alanis Morissette. Not the easiest. My voice is very bad.


PS: I wonder how long I can keep up this facade of the social person.